we have officially lost it.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
