"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
