Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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