I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I didn't notice because vodka
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
