but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
