Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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