I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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