smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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