I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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