I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
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He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
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His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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