so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
