You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
It's just like the Real World with babies
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize