Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
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