Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
