Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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