Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You were trust falling into bushes
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
