in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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