Only a mothe r could love this liver
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
