you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
