I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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