You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
