dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
