did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
