I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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