I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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