Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
