He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
