Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
