You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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