I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
