Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
