he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The uberlube is also flammable
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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