Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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