I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
