I must be too annoying 4 u.
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You made out with two different species that night
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
