He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
