You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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