So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Congratulations! We have a period
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