well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My penis needs a shock collar
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
