I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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