No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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