I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
