Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm both gender and math confused
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
