Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
