i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
