I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I am one with the molecules
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
