I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
