I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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