first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
