Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
