names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
