You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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