...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
