Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
