Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
