Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
