I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
