I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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