Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
