ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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